Grandma's House

Ada, OK to Moriarty, NM
Day 7

The next morning we said our goodbyes to Todd and Greg over a cup of black coffee (and stared at the walls). Another generous host on our adventure. Though we were on a tight schedule, we made one more visit to Graham's grandmother's house. It was built Edwardian style and the interior had a very museum-like quality to it. Mostly because it looked uninhabited. No dust, no footprints, I could nearly see my reflection in the hard wood flooring...just immaculate. Fortunately, his grandmother did live there; in the nook, she offered us a hearty breakfast of eggs, toast, coffee, and pastries. She asked us about our ambitions, of course I didn't have any plans right now. Though I felt awkward, in my defense, how can anyone have an idea of what he/she wants to do at the ripe age of 24? We took a tour of her house, I remember seeing an autographed picture of the Beatles that had a hazy origin. I also remember an epic bronze carving of Moses with the 10 Commandments. To the wall were affixed many wares such as these, as well as a Nordic boat replica on the bookcase.

After breakfast we again said our goodbyes to his grandmother. This would be the fifth Woolley to house and feed us in a three day period. But we had to make some good time on the road, we haven't even crossed the proverbial line into the west yet. It would take about one more day of speeding before getting to the Texas/Arizona border.

Chris took the wheel, and it rained as prophesied.

The panhandle of Texas is over 150 miles wide. Fortunately the drive burned through this part because there isn't much to offer, aside from oil rigs and death penalties. Two things in Texas peaked our interest: the Texan Steak Ranch, and the Cadillac Ranch. To uphold our mantra "Over the Top," the Texan Steak Ranch was a necessary pit stop. Both are novelties.

The Texas Steak Ranch has quite the ad campaign. Hundreds of miles in each direction on ol' route 66 from Amarillo are huge signs advertising the 72 oz. steak challenge: which is if you eat a huge 72 oz. butterflied-cut of meat (with sides) in an hour, you get it for free, otherwise you have to pay $72 bucks. It was big but not really; Alaskan steaks are way bigger.

After our collective surfeiting, we made haste to the Cadillac Ranch. From THE INTERNET, I remember a public domain picture of a postcard showing ten Cadillacs buried face-down in the dirt like ostriches heads in the sand. The wheat field that this novelty is owned by millionaire Stanley Marsh. These Cadillacs are assembled from old parts and used for the sake of "art." They are covered with graffitti from other travelers who want to leave their epitaphs, or just draw phallic symbols on them...

Fortunately, "phallacies" are way too low-brow for us. If you are going to write something (that will be overwritten within 24-hours), it might as well be poignant:

"6/21/2007 - Chris B. Graham W. Sean S.: The Road Trip of the Future."

Someone in the future will have eventually read that and felt shitty for not being part of the glory and reward.

This is off-topic but Cadillac Ranch is on a parched dirt-field. When I urinated on it, it soaked it up immediately.

Magic Music that Makes your Morning Mood

Tuesday Nite! June 20, 2007
Somewhere in TN towards Ada, OK

At 3:30 am the night before, in a small town in TN, we filled up the gas and checked into a local Econo Lodge. We drove smoothly at least 12 hours and I was exhausted. I immediately brushed my teeth to get rid of rot-breath from eating meals only from the neglected food groups.

We were early to rise, as would be the norm for the trip. I have always loathed the morning, yet every day of this trip, no matter how hungover or sleep-deprived, I felt refreshed and full of vigor.
Feeling like a piece of shit? Take a road trip!

I have to give full credit to the first album we heard when we balled the jack. The New Deal - Gone, Gone, Gone. This album will put a kick in your step and a gleam in your eye. I couldn't believe how uplifting the music was: I remember no one uttered a word during its play, but preferred to keep the beat by tapping with feet or hands, or nodding the head in tempo, to admire it in quiet awe. We were tuned in.

Again, the vistas were pretty intense. I remember Chris pointed out the horizon being layered from the differences in the hills distances and visibility. Because I had not noticed that before, I kept seeing these layers through each state we drove through. I had brought a basic digital camera, and I had a lot of memory to spare. I didn't discriminate on what kinds of pictures to take, but I made sure to include abstract shots, weird angles, and sport-sport-night-party-fast mode. Of course, most of the pictures were of vistas.

We drove through Oklahoma City, it was pouring buckets when we passed through the city. It took many hills and back roads before we were A-fficially in the boonies: Ada, Oklahoma. Graham's uncle Todd was whom we were visiting, as well as his other uncle Greg, and grandmother.

Hill after hill, valley after valley, and side road after side road, we found ourselves in the epicenter of nowhere, Todd's house. I'm happy to at least have food, alcohol, and a tornado-proof shelter for the time being.

We arrived and the first thing I remember is walking into an inviting room. I hadn't even sat down yet. The carpet was red and the couches looked very comfortable. But after sitting for hours in a car, I wanted to stand. Deep Purple's Black Night was playing from Made in Japan. This is my kind of hangout! Greg, and two of of Todd's friends were in the kitchen drinking and conversing. Todd offered me a Nicaraguan cerveza called Tona. I was floored...after many of them.

The night ended with the playing of Diesel Boy - The Human Resource. It is a VERY intense listen which sent my jaw straight to the ground.

On tour without instruments

Monday, May 18, 2007
Lancaster, PA to Ada, OK, via Tennessee on I-40

Everyone slept in until about noon. Nothing cures grogginess like a fresh pot of coffee—and bocce. The weather could have been better: sunny, humid, around 90 degrees, not even a zephyr in th air. The house is perched on a hill with the backyard sloping upwards towards a dell....... nah it was more like a glade. Graham, Aaron, Chris, and I balled on the bocce battleground, which was anything but bland and boring. B. The game continued uphills, around the house (fortunately not through it), past fences and retaining walls, the neighbors yard, and rolled about 1000 feet down the street. This was a game that Abbie Normal invented. If it were not for our plans, I would have stayed there all month playing bocce and jamming out.

We said our goodbyes to Robert, Deb, Aaron, and Sammi-Chan. There's never enough time to hang out.

We balled the jack towards Ada, OK, where Graham's family lives. It wasn't possible to get there in one night but we needed about 11-14 hours of driving per day despite that. For energy, we stockpiled delicious Isaac's sandwiches. I made sure to get ones I have never had before, Rose of Sharon, Pipit, and the Texas Wren which are Portabello mushroom sandwich, Chicken salad sandwich, and another chicken breast sandwich. They name their sandwiches after birds; ya see what they did there? I remember spending a lot of time looking for Isaac's on Chocolate Lane, more like Chocolate Rain

Conversation came in bursts on this stretch, not that it was awkward or anything. Because we would be trading the roles of driving, passenger, and backseat, we delegated duties to each other. The driver obviously drives, and is to concentrate on not fucking up, and to listen to the navigator, the passenger, who is to give the driver perishables and directions; the backseat person does the same thing as the navigator, but it more like the navigator's secretary.

The vistas and landscapes were incredible, I would have never noticed or cared about the Blue Ridge until that day, it just seemed significant. Chris pointed out the layers in the horizon. From PA to VA/AK the views went from mountainous to verdant. It would only get better.

The Departed (Di-PAH-tid)

Sunday June 17, 2007
Revere, MA to Lancaster, PA

I had been up all night drinking and listening to music with Graham's brother Evan. I knew I'd feel like shit the next day. Being awake while my alarm is buzzing nullified its purpose. We were to drive about 400 miles...piece of cake. Most of our belongings we chucked into the backseat, bot very comfortable back there but I was too tired to care.

Along the way we saw some breathtaking vistas, at least where the highway slices through the Appalachian mountains, but it was nothing compared to the vistas we would see the next day.

I slept in the back of the Subaru the duration of the trip. I woke up surrounded by a rural, farm area. The smell of fertilizer permeated the car. I hadn't been back to Lancaster in a few years, that was one thing I'm glad I missed. Graham calls the gaseous-shit "The Pennsylvania Skees."
One of the few things, however, that I did miss is a deli called Issac's; hands down the best sandwiches in the country, Carnegie deli can go to hell.

We finally arrived at Shawn's (Graham's mom) condominium. Our friend Ted Stoltzfus and Kevin Dalbey also stopped by. It felt like old times again at the Woolley house, where I used to hang out a lot, listen to music, jam, be goofy etc. They have always been hospitable to me over the years and I appreciate that. Everyone got the opportunity to catch up with everyone else regarding his/her current undertakings. We continued the conversation at Isaac's Deli.

When we came back from the deli we decided to play a game called Telephone Pictionary--a game of word and pictorial interpretation. How it goes is everyone forms a circle and is equipped with a pen and paper. Then, each person comes up with a sentence (the more nonsensical the better) and writes it on his/her paper. Then each person passes it to the adjacent person and that person will interpret his/her sentence and try to draw it. After the drawings are done, then those are passed to the adjacent person to interpret and make a sentence out of it. So by the end of the game, a person's paper will have many sentences and drawings that deviate further and further from the original sentence and drawing, which most importantly generates laughter and good times. I only wished we had time to play Balderdash as well...

After spending time at Graham's mom's place, we ventured over to Lebanon where his dad Robert lives. Dalbey (aka Dean Moriarty reborn) drove us maniacally and executed hair-pin and drifting. I read about crazy driving in On the Road. Dalbey, in the parlance of this blog, "balled the jack."

I was happy to have another chance to jam out on some 12-bar blues, and some Judas Priest with Graham's dad on guitar and Graham on bass, and myself on drums. Robert was fortunate enough to live the era of great 70's bands, and see a host of them such as Procol Harum, Wishbone Ash, Deep Purple in their prime. After jamming and cooking out, we got drunk off Trapper Creek Berry Mead and Yuengling beer and played more Puerto Rico. Both libations are recommended!